Well, I guess you don’t. I suppose since your face is more proportionate than normal or you’re more skinny or you have perfect hair means you can just act how ever you want as long as you get your way. Don’t bother to tip, ok? You’re so beautiful, just being in your presence is enough. When rent is due, I’ll recount this meeting with you to my landlord and I’m sure she’ll be pleased to reduce my rent because you’re too beautiful to tip people.
Let me explain. Today, a woman who works at a certain tanning salon 2 doors down tried to order a large soda for delivery. I’ll give you a second to let that sink in, then I’ll expand on this to drive the point home.
Tanning Salon <——-Approximately 20 feet——–> My workplace
She wanted a delivery.
For one large soda.
20 feet, you guys.
The manager explains to the lady that we don’t offer delivery service for less than one sandwich. She then walks the twenty feet to our door in a perfect demonstration of what one of us would have done, but in reverse. She then proceeds to berate all of the in shop employees (who have nothing to do with this, I might add), and wouldn’t speak to the manager. The General Manager of the store. No sir, not high enough leadership to solve this issue of why we can’t deliver a large soda the 20 feet to her doorstep. She wants to speak to the owner. The owner of the store. Yes, let’s call the owner of this 20-something store chain and chat about one large soda, shall we?
Ring, Ring. (Or whatever.)
“I want to speak to the owner of the store, I have received terrible service from your company!”
“Oh my (he doesn’t swear in front of customers, I bet), that sounds terrible! What can I do to remedy this situation? Please, tell me what’s happened.”
“They wouldn’t bring me a large soda 20 feet for no tip.”
(I always imagine a long pause here, followed by some throat clearing.)
“Did they explain that company policy is a minimum one sandwich delivery?”
“Yes. I still want them to bring it to me.”
“Did they explain we don’t even deliver large sodas?”
“Yes. They should still bring it to me.”
At this point several employees have snuck in and begin to beat this annoying woman with large loaves of bread. Unfortunately, she’s too tan to bruise.
This is the same woman who made me go make exact change for one sandwich out of a 100 dollar bill, then didn’t tip me.